At our monthly day of church planter training this past Tuesday, we were challenged to think of five things that only we, as pastor/planters, can do in our vocational context. The idea is that we are called to certain primary tasks, and that everything else should be delegated to others who are called to fulfill those tasks. The theme of the day was time managent, which we discovered really is life management. The point is that when I know my calling, and what my "main things" are, then I can know how to spend my time, fulfilling Ephesians 5:16, which commands us to "make the best use of the time." The Greek word for time in that passage is not chronos, but kairos. This means that I am not to think of time in hours and days, but in purpose—not just how I spend my day, but in how I spend my life. And how I want to spend my life will inform how I spend my days.

As I reflected on the five main things that I am called to do and that should dominate my calendar, I came up with a list.

I am called:

1. To clarify and communicate the vision and core commitments of the church (which requires reflection and prayer)
2. To preach the gospel as the chief repenter (which requires study and teaching in both spoken and written word)
3. To equip, mentor and disciple staff, key leaders and future elder/pastors (which requires time for discipleship and friendship)
4. To nurture my marriage and my children (which requires attention and affection)
5. To nurture myself (which requires attention to the means of grace, physical activity, intellectual pursuits, and being mentored/discipled)

Now, the challenge is to show integrity to these five, main things by making sure that my calendar really is filled up doing what I've been called to do, rather than what I have not been called to do—even if someone else thinks that I am. If I can keep these five before me, my life will begin to have a much greater focus, and potentially a much greater impact in the areas to which I have been called.

So, those are my five things. What are yours?

Just got the kid's presents wrapped and about to hit the sack. Wow, Kristy is an amazing gift wrapper. Anyway, I think we are ready for the morning.

Also, I'm really grateful for the folks who helped with the Christmas Eve service tonight. Even with a few technical difficulties, they rallied and received the grace to have a really blessed time together. Thanks to worship arts coordinator Jesse Turk and other tech volunteers for last minute heroics. So fun to see so many new faces, too. 

We're all looking forward to video Skyping with the kid's "Nini" (grandmother) in the morning on my iPad so that she can watch them open their gifts. Thanks to the late Steve Jobs. This will be a first. 

Will look forward to seeing everyone next year! How is it possible that it will be 2012? Seems like it was just 1985. :)

I recently read (devoured) Adam McHugh's book The Introverted Church, which has been so very helpful. For my entire ministry as a pastor I have attempted to function as an extrovert, which has felt like trying to throw a baseball with my left hand. Nevertheless, I have always assumed that I should be an extrovert, as if introversion were some moral flaw. Yet in McHuge, I have found a friend and fellow introvert who has set me free to be an introverted pastor/church planter. 

I knew that this book was for me when, on page 12, I read his confession:

"I... relished times of solitude, reflection and personal study. I enjoyed people, and found satisfaction in depth of relationship and conversation, but even when I spent time with people I liked, I looked forward to moments of privacy. I found crowds draining. I could stand up in front of hundreds of people and preach a sermon without nervousness, but I often stumbled through the greeting time afterward because my energy reserves were dry... I tried to beat and squeeze myself into [an extroverted] mold of leadership instead of becoming the kind of leader that God designed me to be."

His book is about discovering how God designed me to be as an introverted follower of Jesus/church planter/husband/father. This post in some ways is the beginning of that journey.

Of course, a big issue is defining terms. For the extrovert, engaging with people and crowds is energizing. For the introvert, engaging with people and crowds is draining. It is as if the two kinds of people were given different batteries. The extroverts battery is rechared around people. The introvert's battery is recharged in solitude. This does not mean that introverts are anti-social hermits. It simply means that our social battery has a limit before it needs to be recharged. In fact, when recharged, an introvert may appear to be an extrovert. It also means that introverts primary contribution in the church as pastors often will be a ministry of depth (of teaching and with relationships), as long as they have the time to invest in thinking, reflecting and processing in solitude. 

In light of this new self-awareness, I am so grateful that I have a church family that deeply values depth and encourages me to invest most of my time in introverted activities such as study, writing and message preparation. Most churches with introverted lead pastors will soon discover that if they demand the pastor throw left-handed as an extrovert, his main contribution as a pastor will be severely compromised.

After reading Introverts in the Church, I feel like I am on the edge of a new horizon of a new and potentially fruitful ministry. I no longer have to apologize for being introverted. It's exciting to consider the possibilities.

"It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery." ~ The Apostle Paul in Galatians 5:1

I have not preached in two weeks, which means I have had some extra time to read and reflect in ways and on subjects that I often overlook. One subject is me. My soul. Self-care.

Recently, within one hour, three people told me that I looked very tired. Not just physically tired, but a deeper, soul tired. Exausted. It was true. One way I've tried to describe it is "hitting the wall."  In marathons, runners usually "hit the wall" around mile 18 or so, when all the glycogen has been depleted from their muscles. If glycogen is not replenished, the legs just shut down. Race over. 

After two thrilling years of church planting with crowds attending and ministries flouishing, I hit the wall. With the "you look tired" wake up call, I ordered and read two helpful books, The Hidden Link Between Adrenaline and Stress and The Introverted Church. Both books spoke to me in pesonal, profound and much needed ways. 

Like a combustible chemical compound, these books have opened a fissure in my soul. And through that fissure, liberation—a genuine existential freedom in the gospel. In fact, I am feeling unexpectedly refreshed and gratefully reinvigorated for the next leg of the race. 

So what is it that feels so liberated? Here are some areas off the top of my head. 

• I am free from guilt and condemnation.
• I am free to be an introverted church planter/pastor (much more on this in future posts!). 
• I am free to laugh (especially at myself).
• I am free to not have all the answers.
• I am free to fail.
• I am free to dance.
• I am free to be wrong.
• I am free to tell dumb jokes.
• I am free to lead out of weakness.
• I am free to take off my mask of hypocrisy, being radically real as the chief of sinners. 
• I am free to not have to fix people (and free not to be fixed myself).
• I am free to not have to please people. 
• I am free to say no so that I can be free to say yes.
• I am free to be misunderstood, criticized, maligned and despised.
• I am free to design my life in a way that will most effectively bless the church.
• I am free to delight in being an adopted, forgiven, accepted and righteous son.
• I am free to forgive.
• I am free to live with the faith of a child, filled with wonder, trust and thankfulness. 
• I am free to act radically generous in light of the gospel. 
• I am free to ask hard, penetrating, personal, uncomfortable questions of people who need them asked.
• I am free to offend the religious. 
• I am free to love the unlovable. 
• Sadly, I am not free from paying my mortgage. :)

Anyway, all of this is possible because of the cross, where my freedom was purchased and liberty lives. My Father is the sovereign King. I have been given the robe of perfect righteousness from the ultimate elder brother, Jesus. The Spirit has sealed me for heaven and indwells me, continually convincing me that I am accepted in the Beloved. 

Yet I confess that living a life unshackled from the condemnation of the law and from human expectations will be a struggle. Every morning and throughout the day I will be tempted to put on various yokes of slavery. For, while preaching grace, I have lived (quite unconsciously) under the yoke of legalism, worry and the fear of man for so long that I really don't know how to be free, walking in the light of the gospel. So pray for me if you think about it, because living as a liberated pastor is one of the best things I can do as a husband and father, pastor and friend.  

I trust that there are areas in your life where you could use some freedom, too. How are you bound? What do you think it would look like for you to be free?

Personal refection #1: Trail racing is different than running on my treadmill while watching Sports Center. :)

Personal refection #2: Next time, I'm taking my iPod.  

Personal reflection #3: I should plan to finish, not to win. 

Personal reflection #4: Life is a lot like an endurance oriented trail race.  There are ups and downs. Pace is required. It is not paved. Sometimes you want to quit. Being with others facing the same challenges helps to keep you going.

WARNING: This post is of the longer variety. My apologies in advance.

For years I have been trying to figure out how to design a pace for work and life that provides both rest and energy, as well as time for family and ministry. Several vocations are like being a church planter, such as the rancher, coach, or physician, where it seems like the work is never done, and that we are "on" 7 days a week (or at least there are very few days where we can be totally off to fully recharge mind, spirit, body, and soul). Boundaries tend to get very loose and, eventually, all of life becomes work (even if the work doesn't look like work to others). And for the pastor type, much of the work is not in the production side, but in the preparation side. Meaning, much of the energy spent is mental/thinking/exercising the brain. And yes, even the brain needs a break. If you run a car at 6,000 rpms without ceasing, eventually it will crack. Just like folks who lift heavy stuff for a living need to rest the back, those whose work involves moving heavy mental loads, mind processing and interpersonal interaction need to rest the mind. 

Now that Creekstone has launched, I've been putting a lot of thought into how to spend my time. The above schedule lists the primary ministry focus areas for each day. Even thought this does not list things such as leading the men's study, leading team meetings, social gatherings, youth activities, etc., I think having a primary focus each day will help keep things "between the lines." Pray that it really does help, and that if it does, that I will stick to it. Thanks!