What Women Really Want

After 24 years of marriage, I finally have discovered what women really want.

This discovery took place as I was hand washing a pile of dishes that had accumulated in our sink over the past several days. Life has been hectic and our dishwasher is not playing nice. Not to mention that my wife has been preparing for our church women’s retreat this weekend, tracking down card tables, decorations, snacks and other “retreat necessities.”

So, as I was intently scrubbing a pan of baked on, semi-gelatinous casserole gunk,  my wife leaned over my shoulder and said…

Okay, before I tell you what she said, you have to know that this is my day off and I haven’t showered yet. I’m not even sure I’ve brushed my teeth. Standing over the sink in wrinkled khakis and a white t-shirt, unshaven and wearing a ball-cap, I hear her approaching. She leans over my shoulder and whispers, “This is the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen.” Now, to be precise, she didn’t necessarily say that I was the sexiest thing. But I’m taking her statement as a composite, including not just the activity, but the actor as part of the sexiness. But sexiest thing ever? Look, she has seen A River Runs Through It with Brad Pitt, Titanic with Leo, and… So I’m dating myself.

Guys, we should not overlook the significance of this moment. After all, seven years ago, I completed the P90X workout program and she never got anywhere close to as excited as she did this morning as I was hunched over the sink. I could have been puking, but as long as that pan was getting clean, I was the sexiest man alive!

Here is the critical take-a-way: what women really want is a man who will do the dishes. We have been lifting weights, eating high protein/no carb, using fancy cologne, buying expensive jewelry,  and bringing home flowers, when what she really wants is for us to wash the dishes! Are you kidding me?

Of course, the dishes are just the tip of the iceberg, revealing that simple things like washing dishes express love. And isn’t THAT what we all really want? To be loved?

Changing diapers. Changing the oil. Fixing a leaky faucet. Going to the grocery. Making up the bed. Vacuuming the den. Cutting the grass. Cooking dinner. And yes, doing the dishes. These are sexy because they are ways that we make a woman feel loved by being served. By being blessed. By being loved, not just with words, but with selfless actions. And I suppose a woman knows that if a man will love her by doing the dishes, he will love her in every other way that she longs to be loved.

As we consider this new brand of sexiness, let’s not make the mistake of taking our cue not from a typically selfish husband like myself (after all, I actually was grumbling about the dishes – but don’t tell Kristy that!), but from a perfectly selfless Savior like Jesus, who didn’t just wash our dishes, but washed our very souls by serving, blessing, yes, loving us unto death. By his blood shed on a cross to fulfill the justice our sins deserved, he has not just cleaned the outside of the dish, the but the inside. In him we are scoured clean. Gloriously clean. Fully forgiven. Perfectly accepted. And if we are honest, being the recipient of that kind of love is what we all really want.

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